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Murata/Conrad fic, "All That Can't Be Undone" 
2nd-Jul-2005 12:39 pm
Reborn - Yamamoto CHIBITA
For ranchelle, who cheerfully breaks my heart with Murata/Wolfram, and who believes all pairings are possible. And for kateriya, who burst out laughing when I told her I was writing Murata/Conrad - the best reaction ever. *hearts*


Pairing: Murata/Conrad
Rating: PG for slash content, R for general audience
Length: 1,931 words
Fic:

all that can't be undone

Everyone underestimates Murata. It’s so easy to look at him and see the boy that Murata wants them to see.

Murata Ken has long known the value of appearances. Especially of appearing to know less than you really do, of seeming young and helpless. And Murata, naturally, was never any of these things, even when he seemed to be.

People let you get away with a lot more, if you look and act the way they want you to. They let slip with a lot more. They trust you a lot more. And that’s where you surprise them. That’s where you learn enough to decide on the best way to act. Much like Yozak, the Maou’s chameleon of a personal guard. He’s had to be, growing up the way he has. Being of both worlds and of neither, he’s learnt quickly that the world is kindest to those who can become like those around them, who can flow, like water, from one identity to another.

Murata has always known this.

+

It is Murata who makes the first move.

Just as he always does.

He remembers exactly how it happened. Evening in the corridors of the castle, the world closing down on them, making it seem as if they're the only two people in the world.

The kiss is an answer. A question. A challenge. A challenge, coming from the quiet boy who always seemed to fade into the background, who, Conrad was now realising, was not so much fading into the background as letting what he wanted to observe come to the forefront. Murata remembers the look in Conrad’s eyes, even now, as he realises Murata is not a child, and has never been a child.

This isn't supposed to happen. But so much isn't supposed to happen. Julia's dead, and that wasn't supposed to happen. This is just one more shouldn’t have happened in a world that’s alive with impossibility.

They understand each other, Murata and Conrad. They each see in the other what they have had to be.

And the ghost of what they might become.

In that way, they’re a warning to each other.

+

Sometimes, he wonders if Yuuri knows.

But he knows that the boy king can barely work out how to handle that fiancé of his, let alone discern what's happened between Conrad and him. Yuuri doesn't even begin to guess what Wolfram's feelings for him are, and Murata's quite happy to keep him oblivious. It works better that way, sometimes.

Sometimes, he wants to shake Yuuri. To tell him that being oblivious to the designs of others doesn't protect you any more than awareness does. To tell him that if he doesn't open his eyes, the world will soon meet him with a knife to his back. But the best teacher, Murata has learnt, through all his bitter years, is still experience, because it leaves scars that not even time can heal. And if it's the only way Yuuri will learn, then it has to be like this.

There isn’t a lot Murata Ken hasn’t had to do in all the lives he’s lived, but one of the things he’s hated the most is having to watch the innocence die in Yuuri’s eyes.

Murata tells himself that he’s furious at Conrad for all the trouble he’s caused. For defecting to Dai Shimaron and unintentionally being the indirect cause of all the chaos with the first Forbidden Box. But if he’s honest with himself, the real reason he’s furious at Conrad is because Murata has had to watch as the young Maou discovers how badly those you trust can hurt you, even with the best of intentions.

It’s not as if Murata doesn’t understand. It’s not as if he’s never had to do something like this before.

Nor is it as if he might never have to do this to Yuuri.

Sometimes he’s not sure he hasn’t, already.

But it felt, sometimes, as if Conrad hadn't just betrayed Yuuri. That he'd betrayed all of them, however pure his motives. Although Murata knows he can do nothing to help Yuuri, it doesn’t make him feel any better about the way things are.

But there is one thing he can do.

He knows where they’re keeping Conrad. Everyone knows. The location of a known traitor to Shin Makoku, especially if he’s also the Maou’s son, and half-human to boot, is invariably a secret that can never be kept.

Murata steals in, quick and quiet as a cat.

+

Trying not to talk about Yuuri is like trying to forget the sun in your sky. Or your reason for being.

Yuuri always comes first.

That’s their unspoken understanding. Yuuri is the Maou, and they will do anything to protect him. And so, Yuuri always comes first. Even before what is between the both of them. Anyone who holds their hearts knows that they own but what is left of these men after they have given what they are to duty and what has to be done, for they are men used to giving up what they want for what the world needs.

It was never going to be easy. Especially with a Maou like this one. Yuuri’s heart is as open as the sky, and every emotion he feels, he shows, with no regard for the need to keep one’s heart as much a mystery as one’s plans.

Murata and Conrad are men who understand that secrets are inevitable – even necessary – in the world they live in, and that some secrets must be kept to protect boy kings who can’t even stop themselves being bitten by their own living swords.

Yuuri, young, impulsive and all artless charm, possesses a distressing tendency to speak his mind, to forget the consequences, and to throw caution to the wind. He also demonstrates the near-fatal instinct of trusting his heart over his head, and most dangerously, the tendency that is any ruler’s downfall – to believe the best of people. His first instinct is to trust, because the world he lives in has given him no reason to believe otherwise, no reason for him to draw back to protect himself.

Murata and Conrad don’t have that luxury. Both of them know no world is that simple.

Yuuri has had spectacular luck so far, even when it comes disguised as accidents. Notably, in acquiring a fierce champion and protector in the youngest son of the former Maou, one bound by more than loyalty, unshakeable in his dedication to keep the Maou safe.

But however fortunate a ruler is, there are always lessons waiting to be learnt by him. And one of the most painful lessons is this:

There is no shield that can guard against betrayal.

The next most painful lesson is this:

The first betrayal is the hardest.

And the rest get no easier.

But Murata and Conrad know this, have always known this. For, unlike Yuuri, they know how dangerous it is to let your heart look out of your eyes.

+

There’s a shadow of guardedness in Yuuri’s eyes, now, of knowledge that's come too soon for the boy he is, and not a second too early for the Maou he is to be.

Conrad doesn’t want this. Not if he’s the reason for it.

But even as he regrets what he’s had to do, he knows that he would change nothing of what he’s done. Because some things have to be done, no matter how much you hate them.

And if his duty to the Shinou requires him to betray Yuuri, then he will do it.

Conrad looks up at his newest visitor, and isn’t surprised. He knew that this moment would come, sooner or later.

“How do you like it here?” Murata asks, tightly.

+

If Murata thought that speaking to Conrad would make him feel any better, or help him understand why the man had done what he’d done, he was wrong.

It isn’t long before Conrad’s words drive Murata to speak what he really feels.

"Don't you dare," Murata hisses, "Don't you dare give me something like that. Don't you think I already know what you think you're doing?"

Conrad closes his eyes. He's surprised, to say that least, that he's managed to provoke such a reaction from the Daikenja. Murata was so very mild-mannered and calm - much like him - most of the time, that he forgot that the Great Sage had emotions like his own, too. The way they are – calm, reserved, almost always smiling - is a survival tactic. Volatility never survived long in the world which the both of them knew.

“It isn’t what you did,” Murata says, “It’s the way you think of it.”

He comes so close to Conrad, then, closer than the control which governs their lives would allow.

“You are always in control,” says Murata, implacably. “Even if you think that choice is an illusion, it is always there before you.” His eyes hold Conrad’s in their unflinching gaze. “Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you have no choice. That’s the coward’s way out.”

Conrad had never thought that he would be on the receiving end of Murata's cold fury, but he hadn't really thought Murata capable of it to begin with. Ridiculous assumption, really. He knew that the Daikenja cared for the young Maou, but he hadn't known how deeply.

“Never make the mistake,” Murata says, quietly, but with great intensity, “Of thinking that this was not a choice you made. That you did not do this to yourself.”

Murata is unforgiving even as he understands. He didn’t become the Daikenja for nothing. He knows that some things are important enough to disobey orders for, even if they’re the Shinou’s. He thought Yuuri was important enough to Conrad for the man to understand this. But he also knows that Conrad would never dream of going against the Shinou’s wishes, even if Murata thinks he should have.

Then again, he would. He knew the Shinou. Remembers him, in those early days, as a hot-tempered youth not all that different from the one Yuuri Shibuya struck across the face during the first formal dinner he’d ever attended in Shin Makoku. There are times when Murata doubts the Shinou’s wisdom, but that’s what he’s for. He can question the Shinou when the Mazoku have been raised since birth to offer him their unquestioning obedience.

"You're in Yuuri's hands now," he says, not that the both of them don't know what Yuuri would do. What the Maou will do is a different thing altogether, though. The Maou doesn't forgive treachery easily, and it will remain to be seen if Yuuri can keep him in check long enough to let mercy prevail.

Murata’s gaze burns as he meets Conrad’s eyes, as uncompromising as the boy himself can be.

He doesn’t cry. Tears don't solve or stop anything, he's learned. And in all the years that he’s lived, through all the names, faces and lives all his own and now beyond his reach, he knows what it is to let go.

Still, there’s something as sad as it is inevitable about loving someone who has always belonged to someone else, and part of everything he feels for Conrad is that Conrad understands this better than anyone else.

And then Murata’s mouth meets his, quiet with resignation and hot with frustration all at once.

And Conrad closes his eyes and loses himself in the feel of Murata's mouth on his, sweet and bitter all at once with the past and all that can't be undone.

Comments 
2nd-Jul-2005 04:53 am (UTC)
Ooh. OOH.

Nice. See now, that's a pairing I could really get behind for Murata. He seems so very alone, 'ship wise.
5th-Jul-2005 08:36 pm (UTC) - Thank you! *smiles*
(Your icon makes me giggle uncontrollably. *grin* )

Thank you! *smiles* I'm glad you liked this!

See now, that's a pairing I could really get behind for Murata.
*beams!* I'm so glad - that you think it sounds like a plausible pairing! When I first started out with them I had absolutely no idea how they were going to work. *laughter*

He seems so very alone, 'ship wise.
*grin* I think I was converted to seeing Murata as a possibility by reading inglorious_dmk's Murata/Yozak fics.
2nd-Jul-2005 05:29 am (UTC)
Lovely. It is damn hard for me to find a well written KKM fic that I like. And you have certainly more than provided one. Thank you.
5th-Jul-2005 08:38 pm (UTC) - *is extremely honoured* Thank you! *smiles*
Thank you! *smiles* I was quite worried that I wouldn't be able to do these characters or this pairing any credit. I worried about Conrad a lot. *grin* To hear that you liked this means a lot to me, because I've admired your stories from afar. Thank you. I'm absolutely delighted to hear that you like this!
2nd-Jul-2005 06:19 am (UTC)

O_o;

I don't think I've ever thought of them that way. *blinks* But it makes sense. They do have things in common and I don't feel squicky like I do with Yuuri and Conrad. Murata, after all, is very, very old. ^^;

It did take me a while to have a grip on the fact that Murata is actually the more aggressive of the two. ^^; But then again...Conrad's got nothing on him! The man has probably seen and done it all...

Very, very nice. ^___^.

5th-Jul-2005 08:42 pm (UTC) - Thank you! *huge grin*
O_o;
*giggles!*

I don't think I've ever thought of them that way.
*grin* Neither did I, from watching the anime. I just thought I'd like to try to see if I could make them work. *laughter*

But it makes sense.
*beams!* I'm so glad - *smiles* - When I was planning this story, I kept thinking that getting this pairing to work would be impossible.

I don't feel squicky like I do with Yuuri and Conrad
*huge grin!* Yuuri and Conrad is a huge reason behind this story! XD

It did take me a while to have a grip on the fact that Murata is actually the more aggressive of the two
*smiles* It's all right! It's a little unusual - *hides*. But for some reason I felt that in this instance, Conrad wouldn't be initiating anything, so Murata had to take the first step. I laugh at the notes I made for this story, "Murata has to make the first move! Conrad won't do anything!" *grin*

*beams* Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it!
6th-Jul-2005 05:58 pm (UTC) - Re: Thank you! *huge grin*

I felt that in this instance, Conrad wouldn't be initiating anything
- I agree. *giggles* He's so...proper! And have I told you how much I like your 'mood' picture? (I don't know what it's called...^^; Feel so lame.) Hee, anyway, so cute.

laugh at the notes I made for this story,
- Damn...you have notes? O_O You're good. ^__^ Should get me one of those. Then I wouldn't be tearing my hair out trying to remember things I had thought about... ^____^

*hugs*
2nd-Jul-2005 06:50 am (UTC)
The timeline confused me a bit, but with Murata, everything that meets the eye can be deceiving, ne?

I did enjoy the story-- well-written, and the narrative was smooth.
5th-Jul-2005 08:44 pm (UTC) - Thank you! *grin*
The timeline confused me a bit
*apologises* I'm so sorry for this! I realise I may not have made the setting of this story as clear as I should have. It's set after Conrad's come back, but is a virtual prisoner with the Mazoku.

with Murata, everything that meets the eye can be deceiving, ne
*GRIN* Completely! That's how he got me, first! *smiles*

the narrative was smooth.
*relief!* Thank you for telling me this - I was worried that I'd chopped it up into too many parts, and that it might be too jerky. Thank you once again! *smiles*

Thank you - *smiles*! I'm so glad you liked this story! I enjoy reading your Yuuri/Wolfram stories, and it's a great honour to hear that you liked this!
2nd-Jul-2005 06:56 am (UTC)
Oh wow. This was beautiful! I really liked it! :)
5th-Jul-2005 08:45 pm (UTC) - Thank you for your review! ^_^
*beams* Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it! *smiles*
2nd-Jul-2005 10:27 am (UTC)
That was fantastic. I especially enjoyed seeing Yuuri through Murata's eyes. I hope you'll write more, because that was beautifully done.
5th-Jul-2005 08:50 pm (UTC) - Thank you! *grin*
I especially enjoyed seeing Yuuri through Murata's eyes.
*huge grin* Thank you for telling me which parts of the story you liked! *grin* Yuuri, in some ways, is everything a king shouldn't be (in my opinion), and yet, I've always thought that was precisely why Murata liked Yuuri. It must be amusing for the Great Sage, used to the Shinou and Mazoku of the ilk, to be confronted with someone like this (sometimes!) hapless Maou. *grin*

I hope you'll write more, because that was beautifully done.
*grin* Thank you for your kind encouragement! *smiles* This is what every writer needs to hear. *beams!*
2nd-Jul-2005 01:41 pm (UTC)
This was great!

I think it's funny, though, my friend and I were just talking about a Conrad/Murata pairing. Our ideas went a little differently, of course, but it's nice to see we're not the only ones who were thinking along these lines.
5th-Jul-2005 08:53 pm (UTC) - *beams* Thank you!
Thank you! *smiles* I'm glad you liked this story!

my friend and I were just talking about a Conrad/Murata pairing
*grin* Kyou Kara Maou! fans think alike! *smiles*

Our ideas went a little differently, of course
*smiles!* If you ever want to draw/write/discuss this, I'd be looking forward to it! *grin* I love the way that we all have such different ideas even about the same pairing. I originally thought that this would be Conrad/Murata, but I thought that Conrad wouldn't initiate anything with Great Sage! Murata, so if Murata wanted anything, he'd have to start it himself. *laughter*

it's nice to see we're not the only ones who were thinking along these lines.
*grin* I know what you mean! I feel the same. *grin*
5th-Jul-2005 09:36 pm (UTC) - Re: *beams* Thank you!
For the most part us fans think alike ;D

It was weird. My friend and I randomly RP stuff, and Conrad was finally realizing that he couldn't have Yuuri, so Murata went to talk to him about it, and he was sad too because Yuuri was unobtainable, and yeah. They're pretty fun to get drunk. XD

:D It's awesome when similar ideas mesh. Woo.
2nd-Jul-2005 05:04 pm (UTC)
Ooh! This is a fantastic portrayal of what a pairing of the two might be like--and you've made me a bigger fan! This is beautiful and well-written; I really liked it!
5th-Jul-2005 08:56 pm (UTC) - Thank you! *huge grin* (Cute icon!)
*huge grin* Other people have told you this before, but I LOVE YOUR ICON. Neko-Chan/Bandou-kun is LOVE!

*grin* Thank you! I'm so glad to hear you liked the story!

This is a fantastic portrayal of what a pairing of the two might be like
*blushes* Thank you! *smiles* I'd really have loved to see it going Conrad/Murata, but Conrad wasn't cooperating in this instance, unfortunately. *grin* So Murata/Conrad it was!

you've made me a bigger fan
*beams!* Thank you for the encouragement! *smiles* I'm so glad to hear this! ; )
2nd-Jul-2005 05:58 pm (UTC)
OMG CHRIS I SQUEE.

and now i'm all curious about the rest of the series which i haven't watched. which is basically from episode 10 (gasp!) onwards. oh, what crack am i missing! argh.

lines that i love:

Anyone who holds their hearts knows that they own but what is left of these men after they have given what they are to duty and what has to be done, for they are men used to giving up what they want for what the world needs.

And Conrad closes his eyes and loses himself in the feel of Murata's mouth on his, sweet and bitter all at once with the past and all that can't be undone.


^__________^ *hugs*
5th-Jul-2005 09:01 pm (UTC) - *HUGS YOU AND BEAMS* XDDDDD *LOVES!*
XD *SQUEES RIGHT BACK AT YOU* YOU were totally responsible for me posting this! Even now I think of the way you reacted to my mentioning Murata/Conrad and I AM XD ALL OVER because you!love! *beams!* Thank you for helping me not take myself too seriously, and to not worry so much! ; ) I tend to be very self-conscious about my writing, and thank you for helping me with that!

and now i'm all curious about the rest of the series which i haven't watched. which is basically from episode 10 (gasp!) onwards. oh, what crack am i missing! argh.
XD! A lot of crack, and a WORLD OF ANGST, too. I wrote this story primarily because I was SOBS AT CONRAD, lots. And because ranchelle was threating Murata/Wolfram, which totally broke my heart. Kura wrote it at last, XD. It's sweeter than I thought it would be. ; ) I'm glad. All the snippets Kura gave me broke my heart lots. *vengefully writes fluff maybe*

*HUGS YOU SO TIGHTLY* Thank you for telling me which lines you liked! XD I started with the last line first, actually - it was the first one that came to me! XD
2nd-Jul-2005 06:13 pm (UTC)
nice, refreshing; the tension within the spare prose throws their adult relationship into sharp relief against WAFF-y pairings like WolfYuu and Gwendal/Gunther.

it took me a while to grow into the idea, and your opening didn't quite do it for me, but from the third part onward it was all joy. also, you close off really well - the lawyer thing really going for you XD

(it is 2am in the morning, forgive my muzziness)
6th-Jul-2005 07:17 pm (UTC) - Thank you for reviewing! *smiles!*
*grin* It's 3.23am in the morning as I reply to this, so it looks as if those who live where we live have very strange sleeping schedules. XD

the tension within the spare prose throws their adult relationship into sharp relief against WAFF-y pairings like WolfYuu and Gwendal/Gunther
*smiles!* Thank you for this observation! It's the sort of thing I'd never notice myself - thank you for seeing this! *grin*

it took me a while to grow into the idea, and your opening didn't quite do it for me, but from the third part onward it was all joy
*smiles* Thank you for your honesty. I really need that, especially when it comes to writing. *smiles* The first three parts are actually three different ways of starting the story. *hides* The story might have worked a lot better if I'd begun with the third part.

XD! It took me so long to actually work this pairing out. *laughter* I was sitting there going, "How do I make this... work?" XD I had so many notes attempting to figure out exactly why Murata and Conrad would ever be like this.

Thank you for reviewing, and for your comments on the story! They're of immense help! *smiles*
7th-Jul-2005 05:44 pm (UTC) - Re: Thank you for reviewing! *smiles!*
...glad to be of help, since I'm too chicken to actually write fic and/or post it :D

I was sitting there going, "How do I make this... work?"
Although you did make it work, hahah :) Facing the same problem now trying to write MuraYuu - I second that Yuuri is way too straight for anything, even though Murata's frilly pink aprons are encouragingly borderline. We should meet up and try to produce something!
6th-Jul-2005 07:18 pm (UTC) - *grin* Will you be at CosFest? XD
Just wondering - Will you be at CosFest this Sunday? ; ) If you are, it'd be great to see you. ; ) I'll definitely be there.

Look for the worst Kyou Kara Maou! cosplayer. Although there may be more than one of us running around. XD
6th-Jul-2005 07:19 pm (UTC) - EEK
Ack, not that there may several bad cosplayers running around, just that if there are several KKM cosplayers, I'm the worst.

I'll be the shortest, for sure! XD
7th-Jul-2005 05:38 pm (UTC) - Re: *grin* Will you be at CosFest? XD
since there are KKM cosplayers...

yup I will be XD with two other friends, though I'll probably be the only one obsessively stalking the KKM cosplayers, since one friend has not watched it at all (although eagerly anticipating Wolfram's nightie) and the other is stuck at episode 20 by blocks and whatnot.

which character are you cosplaying?

short is cute.. and far better than being tall and having a tendency to fall over everything ^___^;
3rd-Jul-2005 01:31 am (UTC)
I really love the way that Yuuri's all over this fic, because it is very obvious that he will always be the "main topic" between Murata and Conrad. Introspection on Murata's part was also lovely, I especially liked the parts where you drew comparisons on both his and Conrad's outlook on the world! There's just one little thing.. Somewhere in the middle of the fic, I just got this feeling that Murata had a thing for Yuuri(maybe it was supposed to be?) and only began to see the Murata/Conrad towards the end..
6th-Jul-2005 07:26 pm (UTC) - *smiles* Thank you for reviewing! And Murata/Yuuri!
really love the way that Yuuri's all over this fic, because it is very obvious that he will always be the "main topic" between Murata and Conrad
*smiles*! Thank you! I'm so glad you liked this! I initially wanted to write it so that Murata and Conrad agreed never to talk about Yuuri when they were together, and then I realised that would be rather difficult. *laughter* I'm glad this worked for you!

I especially liked the parts where you drew comparisons on both his and Conrad's outlook on the world
*huge grin!* Thank you! This actually came out of my having to think about what would bring Murata and Conrad together. Working that out made me think about all the ways in which they were the same, and different.

Somewhere in the middle of the fic, I just got this feeling that Murata had a thing for Yuuri(maybe it was supposed to be?)
*wild grin* I LOVE THIS. I love that you saw that! I didn't actually intend this, but Murata/Yuuri is one the pairings I would absolutely love to write, if only I had the talent for it. Maybe that came through? *grin* I had Murata caring deeply for Yuuri in this story, partly (and forever) influenced by Episode 31, where he gives Yuuri his Maryoku and says, "Shibuya, I won't let you die!" That one made me go WHOA all over.

Part of me is a major Murata/Yuuri fan, many thanks to the scene on the boat where Yuuri moves closer to Murata agonisingly slowly (against the sunset) and cradles Murata's face in his hands. This heart went, THEY ARE GOING TO KISS! - and part of me must still be thinking that. XD

and only began to see the Murata/Conrad towards the end
*hides* Apologies for that - I'll try better the next time! *smiles* But I'm glad you saw it! *grin* It's one of the hardest pairings I've ever attempted to write!

Thank you for your review! *grin* And for sharing all that you saw! *smiles* (Murata/Yuuri! *beams*)


3rd-Jul-2005 07:12 pm (UTC)
There isn’t a lot Murata Ken hasn’t had to do in all the lives he’s lived, but one of the things he’s hated the most is having to watch the innocence die in Yuuri’s eyes.

...Damn. Beautiful.

Aside from being completely envious of your apparent writing ability (the prose was emotionally affective without being overwrought or flowery), I really like the idea behind this fic - it's interesting, concievable within the framework of the show, and very adult... almost makes me think of Conrad as the childish figure here, which is an intriguing reversal for his character.

Good work, for sure!
6th-Jul-2005 07:33 pm (UTC) - *grin* Thank you for your review! *smiles*
(Ooh, I love your Murata icon. He really does look incredibly cool in that one!)

...Damn. Beautiful.
*just beams!* Thank you for this! *smiles* I was actually worried that that line was slightly over-the-top, and/or inaccurate or overdramatic, but I'm glad you liked it! I think Murata cares deeply for Yuuri, and wants to keep him happy, and work to make sure he still smiles (one of the episodes said that, I think?). I think he'd feel incredibly strongly about anyone who tried to take that innocence away from Yuuri. Part of Yuuri's charm (and his stupidity) is his ability (and instinct) to believe the best of people, and I can see Murata seeing that as a strength and a weakness, and one of the things he likes best about Yuuri. Yuuri's such an optimist, and I think that appeals to Murata, who's a pragmatist after all this time. *smiles*

Aside from being completely envious of your apparent writing ability (the prose was emotionally affective without being overwrought or flowery), I really like the idea behind this fic
Thank you for this! *hides, colours, beams uncontrollably* I'm incredibly flattered. Thank you! *is grinning helplessly*

almost makes me think of Conrad as the childish figure here, which is an intriguing reversal for his character.
*evil grin* I'm evilly delighted you saw it that way! XD I think a great deal of this story must have come out of me watching the Arc of Angst (that's what I call most of Episodes 30+ up to 40) and alternately wanting to hug Conrad and make sure no one ever hurt him again, and wanting to strangle him. But most of the time I wanted to thwap Yuuri for saying Conrad's name so many times. Strangely enough, I came out of that liking Conrad more than ever, and believing even more strongly in ConYuu. *dies*

Thank you for your review, and for your kind words! *smiles*



4th-Jul-2005 09:36 pm (UTC)
I was wondering how you were going to make the relationship evolve. It's very interesting and more realistic than most relationships. I also really enjoy the flow of the story's time, always at least once or twice removed. It puts the plot in the background, but still making it visible.

All in all, I think it's well supported. It even suprised me a bit, which is usually nice. ^^
6th-Jul-2005 07:37 pm (UTC) - Thank you for reviewing! *smiles*
! Your icon is so cute! *grin*

It's very interesting and more realistic than most relationships.
Thank you! *beams* I'm glad you liked it! Strangely enough, the relationship I like the most - Yuuri/Wolfram - is the one I fight hardest to write, because it just seems to be so difficult to make it work. *grief* I sit there at my computer and type the words (the writing equivalent of talking to oneself XD) - "Yuuri, you're straight. There's absolutely nothing I can do about it. I'm so sorry." XD

I also really enjoy the flow of the story's time, always at least once or twice removed. It puts the plot in the background, but still making it visible.
Thank you for this! *smiles* Just as I read this, I'm also realising how my narrative isn't as clear as it could be. *grin* Many thanks for pointing this out! I will definitely work on this! I'm glad it worked for you! *smiles*

All in all, I think it's well supported. It even suprised me a bit, which is usually nice. ^^
*GRIN* I know what you mean. *smiles* Sometimes, I've been unpleasantly surprised by fic. *grin* Thank you for reviewing, and I'm delighted that you liked this story!

7th-Jul-2005 03:16 pm (UTC) - Re: Thank you for reviewing! *smiles*
I'm glad you like the icon. ^^() *sheepish*

Thank you for this! *smiles* Just as I read this, I'm also realising how my narrative isn't as clear as it could be. *grin* Many thanks for pointing this out! I will definitely work on this! I'm glad it worked for you! *smiles*
Actually, I rather liked that certain sort of vague-ness. Well... maybe it wouldn't hurt to throw in a few details I suppose... But, overall, I think the story was quite effective. It left more to my imagination and actually made me fill in the gaps from my memory. I like that because it makes the audience part of the process. Whatever they bring to the table is whatever they get out of the story. I suppose... is what I was trying to say. But I guess I can now understand why it might need a little work. Either way, I think I'm an easy reader to please. ^_^

Thank you for reviewing, and I'm delighted that you liked this story!
Well, thanks for writing. Maybe someday a great Yuuri/Wolfram fic will pour out one day~!
12th-Oct-2005 01:50 pm (UTC)
This is really, really lovely. Buuuh... *at a loss for words* But really. This has the honor of being the very first Kyou Kara Maou fic I ever read, and it's Murata-centric as well! ^^ (My favorite character) Thank you! ^^
1st-Nov-2005 11:46 pm (UTC) - *beams* Thank you so much! *grin*
Hello there! *beams* Thank you so much! *grin* I'm so glad you liked this story! Thank you for letting me know you liked it! *grin*

*wild cheering!* The first KKM fic you read? *smiles* I'm deeply honoured! *smiles* Here's hoping you read many more! (And maybe someday write some, if you like! *grin*)

I really like Murata! He's utterly lovely. *beams* So glad you like him, too! He needs more love!

*beams* Thank you! *smiles*
16th-Feb-2006 05:16 am (UTC)
Good writing. The back and forth POV is appealing.
The emphasis of the fact though they both feel for each other they also both understand that their duty comes first is wonderfully displayed.
13th-Feb-2007 05:06 am (UTC)
My heavens, this is such a belated comment! *apologises* But thank you so much for reading this, and for letting me know that you liked it! *grin* I've always thought that duty was absolutely central to both Conrad and Murata, and it'd be one of the places they'd completely understand each other. Thank you once again! *grin*
13th-Feb-2007 03:26 am (UTC)
I realize that it's been a terribly long time since you wrote this story, but I've only just recently discovered (and subsequently became entirely addicted to) KKM, and am only just now searching for fanfic. So, late or not, I just wanted to pop in and laud you on a wonderfully told tale. Thank you for writing it, and for doing such a splendid job of portraying two of my most favourite characters of the series. Lovely work!

I hope you're still a fan of the show even if you're not actively writing fanfic for it any longer. (but if you are, I do encourage you!)

Paxwolf the Impressed (and yes, I know exactly what you mean about the 'Arc of Angst'!!)
13th-Feb-2007 05:12 am (UTC) - *smiles* Thank you so much for this lovely comment!
*grin* Hello there, and welcome to KKM! *beams* Strangely enough, KKM is one series that I think I'll love forever - I still adore this series to bits, and I can't believe how happy I still am when I hear anything about it. *grin* I'm not following it as thoroughly as I used to, but it's become one of my evergreen fandoms. *grin* Thank you so much for this lovely comment - it made me smile! I'm so glad you liked this - I wasn't actually sure about whether this story worked when I first wrote it - thank you for telling me otherwise! *grin*

I'm so glad you got into KKM - it's a wonderful place to be. *grin* If you're still looking for fanfiction and you like Conrad - you've probably chanced across vain_chan's stories already, but if you haven't, they're really good. I'm not sure if you like Conrad/Yuuri, but if you do, they'll be great stories. ;)

I'm still very much a fan of KKM - part of me wished it would never end. *smiles*

Thank you so much! *grin* (And my, it really was an Arc of Angst! Heh ;) )
14th-Feb-2007 05:34 pm (UTC) - Re: *smiles* Thank you so much for this lovely comment!
Why, hello! And thank you very much for the gracious and heartwarming reply. (nicely surprising and lovely, especially today, so Happy Valentine's Day to you!) Very cheery message to open up to!

I didn't honestly expect a personal reply, and it is very nice to connect briefly to another fan (and fan writer!) of this wonderful series. Thank you! And I'm glad to hear about your steady devotion to a quality anime such as this one. I know exactly what you mean about having it as an 'evergreen' fandom. I have a few like that as well, and expect KKM will join them, even as the first blush of addiction fades eventually, as it's affected me that profoundly. (grin)

I really appreciate the recommendation! No, I don't think I'd yet discovered vain_chan, so I will definitely check her (?) out. (Yes, I admit Conrad is my absolute favourite, and yes, I also confess I have an interest in Conyuu, due in large part to the splendid way the series has portrayed the both of them.) I too wish the series had never ended. (and I've been trying to see if the manga can be ordered in Canada in English, but alas, thus far my efforts have proven in vain.) I've even been so struck by the show that I actually jotted down several fanfic ideas of my own for it, which is rather rare for me! :-) (must. not. resist. the KKM muses!!!)

Thank you again. I love your story, and if you ever write (or have written) more, please allow me knowledge of them! (and wonderful icon, btw. That singular smile ...)

Take care!

Paxwolf the Cheered ;-)
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