Legal humour, because I really need it now.
See, this (link from![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
warmperky, many thanks! Includes all the actual cases, too!) is why I don't need Phoenix Wright. Law in real life provides all the crack I'll ever need.
Lowering the Bar Presents: The Case Law Hall of Fame
Washington v. Alaimo (S.D. Ga. 1996).
Plaintiff ordered to show cause why he should not be sanctioned for "filing a motion for improper purposes." The allegedly "improper purposes" are hinted at by the title of the pleading, "Motion to Kiss My Ass." Sanctions imposed.
[The motion proper is full of hilarious profanity which I sadly cannot repeat here, but the text of the case is linked! Go see!]
Bradshaw v. Unity Marine Corp. (S.D. Tex. 2001)
"Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact--complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words--to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed."
[Oh God, I've seen pleadings like that]
[And my FAVOURITE ;D]
Fisher v. Lowe (Mich. Ct. App. 1983)
We thought that we would never see
A suit to compensate a tree.
A suit whose claim in tort is prest
Upon a mangled tree's behest;
A tree whose battered trunk was prest
Against a Chevy's crumpled crest;
A tree that faces each new day
With bark and limb in disarray;
A tree that may forever bear
A lasting need for tender care.
Flora lovers though we three,
We must uphold the court's decree.
[And, the Asch-vs-Luke or YGO case]
Lodi v. Lodi (Cal. Ct. App. 1985).
"This case started when plaintiff Oreste Lodi sued himself in the Shasta County Superior Court."
Noble v. Bradford Marine Inc. (S.D. Fla. 1992).
This case, decided not long after "Wayne's World" was released, was remanded after an extreme close-up review of very excellent authorities revealed that the removal was most bogus and way improvident. Defendants ordered to "party on in state court."
Moore v. Moore (Mo. Ct. App. 1960)
In which a man's right to fish without female interference is recognized, but minor infringements on it are declared not to be grounds for divorce. The term "hillbilly" is found not to be an insult, at least when used in Southern Missouri.
United States ex rel. Mayo v. Satan and His Staff (W.D. Pa. 1971).
Civil rights case against Satan (and his staff). Case dismissed for lack of jurisdiction, and because of doubts over whether it could properly be maintained as a class action.
And for good measure:
A Nebraska senator apparently also sued God. Here's the lawsuit. Wikinews article here.
See, this (link from
warmperky, many thanks! Includes all the actual cases, too!) is why I don't need Phoenix Wright. Law in real life provides all the crack I'll ever need. Lowering the Bar Presents: The Case Law Hall of Fame
Washington v. Alaimo (S.D. Ga. 1996).
Plaintiff ordered to show cause why he should not be sanctioned for "filing a motion for improper purposes." The allegedly "improper purposes" are hinted at by the title of the pleading, "Motion to Kiss My Ass." Sanctions imposed.
[The motion proper is full of hilarious profanity which I sadly cannot repeat here, but the text of the case is linked! Go see!]
Bradshaw v. Unity Marine Corp. (S.D. Tex. 2001)
"Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact--complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words--to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed."
[Oh God, I've seen pleadings like that]
[And my FAVOURITE ;D]
Fisher v. Lowe (Mich. Ct. App. 1983)
We thought that we would never see
A suit to compensate a tree.
A suit whose claim in tort is prest
Upon a mangled tree's behest;
A tree whose battered trunk was prest
Against a Chevy's crumpled crest;
A tree that faces each new day
With bark and limb in disarray;
A tree that may forever bear
A lasting need for tender care.
Flora lovers though we three,
We must uphold the court's decree.
[And, the Asch-vs-Luke or YGO case]
Lodi v. Lodi (Cal. Ct. App. 1985).
"This case started when plaintiff Oreste Lodi sued himself in the Shasta County Superior Court."
Noble v. Bradford Marine Inc. (S.D. Fla. 1992).
This case, decided not long after "Wayne's World" was released, was remanded after an extreme close-up review of very excellent authorities revealed that the removal was most bogus and way improvident. Defendants ordered to "party on in state court."
Moore v. Moore (Mo. Ct. App. 1960)
In which a man's right to fish without female interference is recognized, but minor infringements on it are declared not to be grounds for divorce. The term "hillbilly" is found not to be an insult, at least when used in Southern Missouri.
United States ex rel. Mayo v. Satan and His Staff (W.D. Pa. 1971).
Civil rights case against Satan (and his staff). Case dismissed for lack of jurisdiction, and because of doubts over whether it could properly be maintained as a class action.
And for good measure:
A Nebraska senator apparently also sued God. Here's the lawsuit. Wikinews article here.
why HELLO there Yoko. You scare Rossiu.
As well she should
the implausibility of a fourteen year old girl with... well, THOSE. scares me.
Somebody said malnutrition. ;)
My het OTP icon counters yours, only that I know you like Nia and Simon too. HERE:
It's anime, darling. |Db
but there are still limits to which my disbelief can be suspended ~
I forget ;) It must be time to make a NEW GL ART POST! ;)
Oh, man. I need more fanart of those two, my fanart forays tend to stay around the guy character + other guy character territory. Though I love the art, I don't have the time+energy to go Simon-Nia site hunting. :) But any recs you have will be greatly appreciated! :D
It's better than MGS4 ridiculousness XD
Ooooh, new art! ♥
I suggest the second paragraph of links, as I have browsed through them and have found excellent Kamina/Yoko and Simon/Nia fanart. :Db
Metal Gear Solid 4?! AHAHAHAHA but MGS makes up for it with the GAY
~ I seem to have forgotten who I was before Simon/Nia ;)
!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH! This is brilliant! ;) I shall go and check it out! :)
AHAHAHA this is why I miss out on the Simon/Nia: I can show you AMAZING Simon/Viral and Simon/Rossiu sites, but my het fanart site knowledge for GL = 0%.
♥~
M'actually all for het on almost ALL canons. I would acknowledge the gaaayyyy, but I can't actively ship it. Until Yamamoto/Gokudera. Loev them. ;;
I AM MAKING UP FOR IT NOW :)
My Reborn pairing-love is actually anything that gives me Tsuna Harem. ;) I'm into Tsuna/Yamamoto/Gokudera and Tsuna/Yamamoto and Tsuna/Gokudera and Tsuna everybody, really. Bit like I am with GL, except with Simon in Tsuna's position. ;) Strangely I'm not so into the Yamamoto/Gokudera, although it has eaten the hearts of many people I know :)
*giggles* I'm the exact opposite: if there's no slash in a canon, I won't go in! ;)
XDb
First and only gay pairing I ship, for srs. I held out for years, and was hit by the idiot pair. D:
Ahahahah! XD
A Nebraska senator apparently also sued God. Here's the lawsuit. Wikinews article here.
They should hold a party with the Satan-prosecutor. XD
(HAHAHA POETRY ABOUT TRAGIC TREES SUING FOR COMPENSATION)
0___0
A Nebraska senator apparently also sued God. Here's the lawsuit. Wikinews article here.
Get these motherfucking stupid civil suits out of my motherfucking court system!)
Oh Pei Yi ILU ♥ *giggles*
IT WAS REALLY FUNNY THAT LAWSUIT, especially the HEADNOTES in verse! I LAUGHED AND LAUGHED.
Re: 0___0
Now we just need it be be made into a movie starring SAMUEL L. JACKSON, etc etc XD
(Though, hey, if I was filing a case about sexual assault and a judge banned me from using the words "rape" and "victim" I guess I'd be kind of annoyed. Re: the case that inspired it, according to WikiNews.)
I am very sad that the tree appeared to have lost the case. :( Did the poetry not MOVE the judge's HEART?
... wait, that means EVE can read my mind too!
The "Come out, come out wherever you are" makes me think of (1) coming out of the closet, (2) Lestat's invitation to all the vampires to reveal themselves. (Anne Rice's books)
Yeah, that judge should be smacked. REAL HARD. That is just not right.
Maybe the JUSTICE of efficiency moved the judge's heart more? ;) If he had given in, maybe all other plaintiffs would start writing in verse because they knew he was WEAK TO literature!
That, and he would probably be compensating for the world's forests in due time. ;)
I hope the woman won that case, though signs indicate maybe not. Oy vey.
Ahaha, you know, the world would probably be a much better place if the courts of justice DID make us compensate all the trees we damage... XDXDXD
GLAD YOU LIKED ;)
... and this is, what, DEATH THREE, in as many posts?!
You're most welcome! Glad you liked! And even gladder to have made your day! ;)
oh LAWd.
now where are my flora icons
I take offense to the Phoenix Wright hate, though. It's a really fun game! Yeah, you lawyers nitpick everything (don't play the last case in the second game then, that made even me yell at the screen when Phoenix deliberately was trying to manipulate his confessed-guilty client to a guilty verdict), but it's really a hilarious mystery/adventure/total crack all in one. For the wacky characters alone, you should play it. There's a parody of just about every stereotypical anime character out there, heh.
Thank you! :) I'm glad you liked the cases and that they brought you as much amusement as they brought me! ;)
*grin grin grin* Phoenix Wright hate? I've not even turned on my Phoenix Wright hate yet! What you've seen is nothing! There is so much MORE vitrol and actual hate that I can call on!
;) I'm such a sweet innocent ball of love and fangirl light (XD) that I'm entitled to my soapbox of RAGE on the rare occasions that I'm up to it!
;) We're paid to find every weakness in a case. Don't hate us for doing our job even after office hours. :))))
It's really just not my type of game. I will just look at it from afar and call, "Have fun, everybody!"