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For Katherine - The Drake Equation, Harry/Peter 
17th-Feb-2005 09:33 am
Reborn - Yamamoto CHIBITA
For katherine_15.
I'm so sorry this took so long... *hides*

Harry/Peter.
Chaos theory, fractals, Star Wars, and the butterfly effect.




Yes, that is a fractal. *grin*

The Drake Equation

“What happened to you?” Harry asks, when he sees Peter with that cut on his forehead.

Peter hesitates.

“Tripped on the bus this morning.”

Harry just looks at him. “I can tell when you’re lying, Parker. It’s Flash again, isn’t it?”

Nice try, Peter. “Harry. . . It doesn’t matter.”

“Peter, you can’t just let him do this to you. He – ”

“I told him being held by him wasn’t quite enough to get me excited.”

“You did what ?”

Peter smiles for the first time that day. “Never seen Star Wars?”

* * *

Harry probably regrets the answer he gave that day, but Peter never has.

* * *

“Did you know that spacecraft are supposed to be silent? Because sound can’t travel in a vacuum?”

“Peter, why would anyone want to know that?”

“Who wouldn’t?” Peter asks.

The look on Harry’s face is a study in resignation. “Maybe this time, I’ll finally be able to tell Luke Skywalker and Hans Solo apart.”

Peter has to stop himself from smiling. He knows Harry knows. Or at least, he doesn’t think anyone could watch Star Wars thirty times and not be able to tell Jedi and general apart. Granted, it wasn’t Harry who’d wanted to watch the film on any one of those occasions, but he knew Harry was smarter than that.

“Use the Force, Harry-Wan Kenobi.”

The look Harry gives him then is one of the looks Peter wishes Harry would never give him. It’s one of the looks that makes him forget who he is, forget who Harry is, forget everything that says, this can never be.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Harry says, smirking. “I haven’t got time for anything else.”

* * *

“Did you know that fractals are found everywhere in nature?” Peter asks, when he’s over at Harry’s place, and the both of them are seated at the study table in Harry’s room.

“Pete, you know I have absolutely no idea what they are.”

Peter smiles. That is a question he could spend the rest of the day answering. So he settles for explaining a particular kind of fractal he thinks Harry may have heard of.

“Star Wars.”

“Peter, that movie has finally gone to your head.”

“Fractals are used in generating special effects in movies. One of the first movies to do that successfully was Star Wars.”

Harry laughs. “And here I thought you were going to tell me you’d decided to run away with an Alderaan Princess.”

Peter grins. “That would be a strange attractor.”

“Strange attractor.” Sceptical would hardly begin to describe Harry’s expression.

“It’s a fractal, too. One denoting impossible events. Things that aren’t meant to happen, but do. But sometimes they happen.”

“Like Flash ever learning to count past ten.”

Peter stifles his laughter and agrees.

“Like you ever getting bored of Star Wars.”

“Not in any future I can see.”

“You said sometimes they happen? Even when they’re not supposed to?”

There’s something different about the way Harry says that. Something that’s more intense than usual in his eyes. Peter knows it, but he can’t figure it out, so he nods, slowly.

“Like you and me.”

And right in front of Peter, chaos theory comes to life.

Near-disproportionate academic attention has been dedicated to the fourth attractor. The Mandelbrot Set, the Feigenbaum Fractal, the Lorenz Fractal – all famous examples of strange attractors. All capable of adopting an infinite number of different forms. All unpredictable. All completely inevitable.

Just like what’s happening now.

“Peter, you’re blushing.”

Peter swallows, involuntarily. “It’s – nothing.” He can’t quite explain, even to himself, why he’s reacting this way, and looks down at the table as he gets up from his chair. “I really should go.”

Harry moves to get up, too, and for one moment, Peter is allowed to think that everything is going to be all right, that Harry’s going to show him to the door, going to let him leave, and never talk about this again.

Unfortunately, in Peter’s experience, as in Obi-Wan’s, there has been no such thing as luck.

“Escape isn’t your plan,” Harry says, and his hands come down on either side of Peter, effectively trapping him between the table and Harry himself. Peter barely registers that Harry’s misquoting Darth Vader, but he’s too busy thinking that he now knows exactly what Luke Skywalker felt like approaching the Death Star, because he’s getting a very bad feeling about this.

“Peter,” Harry says, and his voice could be so much like a butterfly’s wings, because you’d never think that something so simple could bring about a storm. Lorenz certainly knew what he was talking about, thinks Peter, and he’d much rather think about the chaos theorist because he doesn’t want to think about how close Harry is. Or about what he’s going to do next. “You’re not running away from this.” Harry tips his chin up so he can look right into Peter’s eyes. “You’re not running away from this, and neither am I.”

If it wasn’t for Harry, Peter would be out of the door and far away by now. The instinct to do just this is only intensified when Harry rests his hands on Peter’s shoulders.

“Peter, your heart’s racing,” Harry murmurs, and Peter tears his gaze away. The urgency of the situation compels him to find his voice at last.

“Harry, I – I don’t – Stop –”

A purely mischievous smile. “Don’t stop?”

“Harry, it’s not funny –”

“Remember to breathe, Pete,” he says, and that’s all the warning Peter gets before Harry kisses him.

When Peter finally does remember to breathe, the first thing he does is tell Harry what he thinks.

“This is not going to work,” Peter says.

“Never tell me the odds,” Harry answers. “And you’re not Solo, Pete.”

“Quoting Star Wars at me isn’t going to solve anything,” Peter snaps.

“Tell me what you told me about Drake’s equation again?” Harry asks.

Peter blinks, and his head clears. This is a question he can answer. This is a problem he can do something about. “It’s. . . the formula for calculating. . . the number of intelligent, communicating civilisations in the galaxy.” His voice gathers speed as he rediscovers his confidence. “It’s said that the value of Drake’s equation doesn’t lie in the solutions it offers, but in the questions it gives rise to.”

Harry rests his hands on either side of Peter’s face, and all of a sudden, Peter forgets everything he’s ever learnt about Drake, fractals, and chaos theory.

“Here’s your answer.”

Then Harry kisses him.

When Harry finally breaks the kiss, he smiles.

“That’s two you owe me, kid.”

The future, Peter knows, is always in motion. He doesn’t need a Jedi Master from Dagobah to tell him that. But never before has he seen his future in terms of a choice so stark.

Do or do not.

One event can change time forever. From one event, infinite futures can be born.

In one world, Peter pushes Harry away, shocked. In another, he turns away in disgust, and never speaks to Harry again. In yet another, he freezes, and doesn’t move until Harry realises that he’s never made a mistake like this one. In still another world, Peter runs. And never sees Harry again.

In this world, Peter kisses Harry back.

And all his possible futures become this one.

Comments 
17th-Feb-2005 09:44 am (UTC)
<333
17th-Feb-2005 09:50 am (UTC) - grar!
Dialogue: 8/10
Analogies: 9/10
Style: 9/10
Characterisations: 7/10
Grammar: 9/10 (Don't notice anything wrong yet. Need to clear mind first to think properly.)
42 + 10 for slash = 52/50~

Peter swallows, involuntarily.
Is winner!

“And you’re not Solo, Pete.”
That could have dual meanings.
17th-Feb-2005 10:08 am (UTC) - Re: grar!
Oh my God, I was GRADED!

*HUGE GRIN*

Now I can truly be The Pupil In Denial!

Thank you! *beams*

Peter swallows, involuntarily.
Is winner!

*EVIL GRIN* He does this in Spider-man 2. abraxan made me notice. Watch this in IMAX and you can hear. We Had Very Bad Thoughts. XD

“And you’re not Solo, Pete.”
That could have dual meanings.

*EVIL GRIN*
You know, I never thought of that until this moment.
Fic, like movies, must be shared with friends. They see so much.

Why does "More fun to go around" sound somewhat bad?

I actually have you to thank for the dialogue and characterisation score. I wouldn't come up to half that without you. *grin* Strangely enough, it was when you referred to Peter as Pete. Somehow, that was my key to Harry's voice.
18th-Feb-2005 12:40 pm (UTC)
Fractal grading: 10/10.

<333 XD

Nicely done!
18th-Feb-2005 12:50 pm (UTC)
I reread the fic. T_T What do you mean you can write as well as I do? You write better than I do.
20th-Feb-2005 02:30 am (UTC)
*hugs you tight* cannotwriteaswellasyoudosobsandclingsto. Ican'tevenwriteVenom.
20th-Feb-2005 02:29 am (UTC)
*beams* Thank you! *grin* Coming from you, that means a great deal to me. *hugs* 'Cause you know Photoshop and art way better than I do. ^_^
20th-Feb-2005 02:28 am (UTC)
*HEARTS YOU RIGHT BACK*

*AND BEAMS*
17th-Feb-2005 10:08 am (UTC) - OHMIGOD!!!!
OHMIGOD, I was so not expecting this! You are AMAZING. Ohmigod, I will go read it immediately, right after I finish hyperventilating.

::loves you so much it HURTS::
20th-Feb-2005 02:31 am (UTC) - *CLINGS. TO. YOU*
I wasn't expecting your fic! *beams* Which may be why I took so long to write this one... *hides and apologises*

*HUGS YOU TIGHT*

*LOVES YOU RIGHT BACK AND CLINGS TO YOU*
17th-Feb-2005 11:32 am (UTC)
*beams* *clings* *loves*

fluffy harry/peter! with every fic, you pull me deeper in.
20th-Feb-2005 02:32 am (UTC)
MOM! *HUGS YOU TIGHT* *ADORES*

with every fic, you pull me deeper in.
I'm so glad to hear this!

I WILL WRITE MORE! And I WILL be worthy of you! *HUGS*
17th-Feb-2005 11:58 am (UTC)
Chaos theory, fractals, Star Wars, and the butterfly effect

How can I read that and not totally fall in LOVE with this gorgeous piece of work? Ohmigod, just reading that makes me feel all achy inside.

I can tell when you’re lying, Parker

::squees:: so simple but it practically describes the root of their relationship!

“I told him being held by him wasn’t quite enough to get me excited.”

::hysterical giggles::

Peter smiles for the first time that day. “Never seen Star Wars?”

Ohmigod, now I NEED to see Star Wars! You always give me desires to watch movies! ::laughs::

Harry probably regrets the answer he gave that day, but Peter never has.

One sentence. And I’m so touched. You are amazing.

I love Peter’s dorkiness. It’s so completely endearing. And Harry’s patient tolerance. Ohmigod.

he doesn’t think anyone could watch Star Wars thirty times and not be able to tell Jedi and general apart.

::squeals:: Peter is such a cute torturer! And once again, Harry’s tolerance is adorable!

It’s one of the looks that makes him forget who he is, forget who Harry is, forget everything that says, this can never be.

::melts:: That is what your fics do to me.They grab me and they intrigue me and they make me FEEL so much.

One denoting impossible events. Things that aren’t meant to happen, but do. But sometimes they happen.”

::jumps and you and squishes you with love:: I adore your metaphors so much I want to adopt them! Ohmigod, that line is beautiful!!! ::is struck by its pure awesomeness::

“You said sometimes they happen? Even when they’re not supposed to?” There’s something different about the way Harry says that.

::squeals:: OHMIGOD. That is stunning.

“Like you and me.” And right in front of Peter, chaos theory comes to life.

::dies:: And my world is exploding. And I just adore you so much for writing that, for making me fall in love with this pairing in the first place. Ohmigod, I seriously am completely in love with you.

Near-disproportionate academic attention has been dedicated to the fourth attractor. The Mandelbrot Set, the Feigenbaum Fractal, the Lorenz Fractal – all famous examples of strange attractors. All capable of adopting an infinite number of different forms. All unpredictable. All completely inevitable.

::cries all over you::

::is completely stunned::

“Peter,” Harry says, and his voice could be so much like a butterfly’s wings, because you’d never think that something so simple could bring about a storm.

::is in pieces::

That is so poignant and just so exquisite.

“Remember to breathe, Pete,” he says, and that’s all the warning Peter gets before Harry kisses him.

::squees and watches::

::absolute bliss::

In this world, Peter kisses Harry back. And all his possible futures become this one.

::cries and cries::

OHMIGOD, I ADORE YOU SO MUCH. You have such a gorgeous style of writing and your Harry and Peter are so in character, the charming!confident!Harry, the dorky!adorable!Peter. Ohmigod, I am just so in love with your characters, with your writing, with YOU. I read and I laugh and I squee and I am completely MESMERISED by it and I feel all tingly and achy and just, I think that's how I'm supposed to feel when I'm in love. YOU make me rambling and incoherent.

You are PRICELESS {> {> {>

And I feel so so so blessed to have gotten to know you. ::hugs and clings to you FOREVER::
20th-Feb-2005 03:07 am (UTC)
*CRIES. SO. HARD*

*CLINGS TO YOU* What did I ever do to deserve you?

I'm reading your comment and I'm in pieces - thank you for taking the time and effort to write this! This is what keeps writers writing. *hugs you so tightly*

::squees:: so simple but it practically describes the root of their relationship!
*hugs you so tightly* Thank you. Oh my God, thank you. *hugs*

YOU make me rambling and incoherent.
THIS IS WHAT YOU DO TO ME, TOO! *HUGS YOU WILDLY*

I think that's how I'm supposed to feel when I'm in love
oh. my. God. *hugs you tight and just cries so hard* And you will. You will. *hugs you again*

OH MY GOD? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH? *HUGS YOU, DOESN'T LET YOU GO, EVER, EVER, EVER*
20th-Feb-2005 05:41 am (UTC) - *cries and clings to you*
OHMIGOD {>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I only returned home at Saturday midnight and OHMIGOD, why wasn't I home sooner?! I received your package!!!!!!

YOU ARE FAR TOO GOOD TO ME!!!!!

::cries and clings to you::

Chris (James Franco), a babe magnet unused to rejection

::squees and squees:: And with that, I am undone. I'm so incredibly EXCITED about watching James Franco getting tied downthe movie!!! Eek!!!! ::bounces around excitedly::

::hugs you tightly:: You are seriously far too sweet to me! I will get you something! I HAVE TO. Ohmigod, I am seriously speechless right now because you are so LOVELY!!! And the postcards! Ohmigod!!! You are so so so completely PRECIOUS. I don't deserve you, I don't! You and your GORGEOUS fic and your package and OHMIOGD, you always make me squee and squeal and just BEAM whenever I think about you and your loveliness.

You know, I'm never ever getting off livejournal now, because you are here and THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.

And oh yeah, one last time, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS.
17th-Feb-2005 02:06 pm (UTC)
Am dead. So so sweet and oh my god, hot in a teenage-boy way.
20th-Feb-2005 02:33 am (UTC)
*grin* Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it! *beams* Hearing you liked it this much makes me want to write so much more. *smiles*
17th-Feb-2005 05:29 pm (UTC)
That was beautiful and the amount of trivia knowledge you have is just awesome *goggle* *smiles and snugs*
20th-Feb-2005 02:35 am (UTC)
*SNUGS BACK AND BEAMS* Thank you! *grin* The sad thing was how much research had to go into the trivia acquisition! *grin*

+ I picked up Drake's Equation from a very elaborate car advertisement I found on the Tube seat next to me on one of my journeys.

+ It made me want to read up on Popular Science and how I could relate it to Harry/Peter, and so I wandered up to Borders to take a look at the popular science section.

+ I picked up a book on Chaos theory and it mentioned fractals in Star Wars and the butterfly effect.

+ Went to look up fractals online and found the four chaos attractors. *grin*

+ The Star Wars research was the most fun!
24th-Feb-2005 08:08 am (UTC)
Ooh... research just makes it all the more impressive *pets*

and I like how your ideas flowed... *grin* it's very well done! ^^ And *laugh* I can imagine... linking something to pop culture is always cool

grin. i really like the interaction of all the concepts in your story ^^
17th-Feb-2005 07:48 pm (UTC)
I'M ADDING THIS TO MY MEMORIES YOU TEMPTRESS, YOU. XD That was so good!
20th-Feb-2005 03:01 am (UTC)
*BEAMS* YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY YOU'VE JUST MADE ME. THANK YOU! *GRIN* I'm so glad you liked it!
18th-Feb-2005 04:47 pm (UTC) - Because you are amazing.
::clings to you::

I feel so unworthy. Because you wrote such an AMAZING piece and you created such a GORGEOUS wallpaper and you did such HEARTSTOPPINGLY GOOD videos.

I'm completely in love with you. I'm either staring at my truly LOVELY wallpaper or re-watching and squeeing over the video. And I completely adore all the slow-motion shots... and poor Harry has this permanent frown on his pretty, pretty face. And poor Peter has this permanent wide-eyed, tortured look.

::cries all over the video AGAIN::

::clings to you:: Harry's face after he bitch-slapped Peter. He looks so lost and anguished, like he's the one that's been bitch-slapped. And Peter's wide eyes! He wants to do something, anyting but he couldn't.

And the cute smiles they keep sneaking at each other during the Doc Ock scene! And the shoulder grasp at the beginning... and the way Peter's hand slips off, like he realises he shouldn't be doing that ::squees:: The breathtakingly gorgeous smile Harry gives Peter at the birthday party... the way the smile is meant for him ALONE.

I've been in a mad downloading mode lately... and from the bottom of my slashy heart, you have the best videos. Ever. Have I mentioned that I completely ADORE you?

And now that I'm now angsty after another video-viewing session, I have to go re-read your fic so that I will be cheered up!

::loves you madly::
20th-Feb-2005 03:13 am (UTC) - AND THEN I LOVE YOU MORE.
He looks so lost and anguished, like he's the one that's been bitch-slapped.
I just keep seeing it as the only way Harry thought he could get through to Peter - that and his being drunk, might have had something to do with it *evil grin* - and, somehow, Harry just knows that hurting Peter is just like hurting himself, and he knows it, and yet he does it, because he can't think of any other way to get through to Peter.

*HEARTS YOU SO MUCH*

The breathtakingly gorgeous smile Harry gives Peter at the birthday party... the way the smile is meant for him ALONE.
This just makes me melt, the way you see this.

*LOVES YOU SO MUCH*

You know, Livejournal, was worth everything, if only for the chance to meet you. *HUGS YOU SO TIGHTLY*

AND THEN I LOVE YOU MORE.
20th-Feb-2005 05:41 am (UTC) - It is impossible...
FOR ME TO LOVE YOU THIS MUCH, IN THIS AMOUNT OF TIME.

::glompstacklesnogs:: But yet, I do and I suppose it has to do with chaos theory and the impossibility of certain things that happen anyway, because they are meant to happen... and which you explain so wonderfully.

Because I ADORE you and I'm carrying your postcards and your DVD EVERYWHERE with me. And I don't even care when people annoy me anymore, because all I have to do is think about you and i'll just SMILE.

::hearts you so much it hurts::
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