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I love you, nii-san. I love you more than Kaa-san. I love you more than Sephiroth wants your ass. 
1st-Dec-2005 06:20 am
Reborn - Yamamoto CHIBITA

a/n
This fic is for a lot of people. For risax (who discusses can-can dancing Sephiroth and Sephiroth/Cloud phonecalls with me, which were the CATALYST that began this fic) amd farfello, my FF-AC CRACK SUBS watching companions, whom I can wail KAA-SAN at and hide behind, and to whom I can repeat DIRGE OF CEREBERUS when the CONSTANT REPETITION begins to WORK TOO WELL ON ME. IF LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD ♥ THEN I WILL FIGHT YOUR WAR. For firestorm717, who SENT me said crack subs in the first place, and who is part of the reason this fic even exists, because she was AC PARODY CRACK? XD And for mildlyinsane, who also encourages me to post fic, AND YAY YOU'RE BACK! AND FOR mushrooms, who really does write the BEST FF-AC parody fic.

AND I THINK IT IS DUE TO risax for that I have WEIRD FIC ideas that involve Kadaj turning into SEPHIROTH and whispering telling Cloud, "THIS IS OUR REUNION".

*twitches*

*sobs at lacewood* I WAS UP TIL 4.30AM LAST NIGHT RESEARCHING THE SWORDS OF FF-AC. There are very NICE Thai and Korean sites dedicated to analysis of ALL OF CLOUD'S SWORDS. Cries. When the Cloud's swords/Kadaj's swords/Sephiroth's sword sword p0rn turns up, IT WILL BE FOR YOU. CRIES. If I were to write Bleach swordp0rn! it would SO be Ichigo/Byakuya. AND INVOLVE LOTS OF BANKAI. xD




ff-ac crack!fic. kadaj/cloud. well, kadaj wishes, at any rate.


If a phone rings in Midgar and no one picks it up, does it make a noise?

"Nii-san?"

The voice was high, breathy, and far too familiar.

Also, it had more desperation in it than a chocobo farm had chocobos.

"... Kadaj. This is the twelfth time tonight."

"I know, Nii-san, but I have to tell you something!"

"... What is it this time, Kadaj?"

"I love you, nii-san. More than Kaa-san!"

"Kadaj, go to sleep -"

"I love you more than Sephiroth wants your ass! I love you more than that redhead loves shooting his mouth off. More than that grabby girl likes materia! More than Vincent likes his dress! I mean, his cape!"

"I -"

"I love you more than you need a new hairstyle! I love you more than Yazoo likes washing his hair! Or his own reflection! More than Loz likes polishing his gun! And Nii-san, I can be Sephiroth TOO -"

Cloud had been through this before, and there was only one way he could get this... brother... to stop.

"...I... I love you. Too. Kadaj. Now put down the phone."

Off the hook at last, he looked up to meet Tifa's knowing smile.

"Your brother's had too much materia again, hasn't he."



and because risax and I were discussing Blood+, and I said the art looked like it was about calm tea-drinking, she said: "I think we should fight... but this tea is too damned good. let's do it tomorrow instead." So, well, what you're going to see next, it was made for risax. SHE GOT ME INTO THIS HAGI THING IN THE FIRST PLACE.



Made for risax as, well, I didn't want to do my Company Law tutorial, AND SHE GOT ME INTO THIS HAGI THING IN THE FIRST PLACE.





Comments 
1st-Dec-2005 06:30 am (UTC)
Also, it had more desperation in it than a chocobo farm had chocobos.
AHAHAHAHA.

I LOVE YOU, FLUFFY CLOUD! *BEAMS*
1st-Dec-2005 06:36 am (UTC)
OMG FLUFFY CLOUD HI!!! *THROWS SELF AT YOU* *HUGS YOU TIGHT* YOU ARE UP LATE TOO?! XD

I LOVE YOU TOO! MORE THAN REALLY GOOD FANART! AND EVEN MORE THAN GOOD FANFIC!!! MORE THAN FFAC EVEN. *HUGS*

Remember that Cloud-as-a-chocobo picture you showed me? I THINK THAT spawned inspired! that line. xD

*kills evil websites which are inconveniently down for you*

SOBS I could say the Cloud/Sephiroth thing is... to your credit? Because you FIND REALLY GOOD Art. But sobs would you say it is because of bakapikananoda that you find the art? XD *HUGS YOU*
AND NEWMAN IS HOT. XD I STILL REMEMBER. XD
1st-Dec-2005 06:33 am (UTC)
Loz likes polishing his gun

Hur, hur!

And ahahaha grabby girl! Sheesh! Nice descriptions of them indeeeed.
1st-Dec-2005 06:37 am (UTC)
*GRIN* Do you realise we are the same age now? XD ♥! XD *grin*

HIS GUN. XDDDD YES I AM EVIL. XD BUT sobs I was researching the swords and weapons of FF-AC and my head was exploding with info! And YAY where else to put my knowledge to BETTER USE!

YES I AM EVIL. *hugs you and beams!* xD

! *HUGS!* I'm glad you liked it! *grin* Thank you for letting me know! : ) XD I think I took WAY too long to write this fic. *laughter!* And I was WRITING IT IN CLASS when I was BORED. xD
1st-Dec-2005 06:52 am (UTC)
LOL, CRACKFIC. OMG. I need to finish mine of Reno's conversation with a sex psychiatrist *dies*
1st-Dec-2005 06:56 am (UTC)
SEX PSYCHIATRIST FIC PLEASE. And will it end with the sex psychiatrist BEING Rufus in bandages? XDDD *grin*

Tonight I was reading Reno/Cloud fic where Cid gave Cloud um, well, an aphrodisiac, as revenge for Cloud beating him at cards, and there was a lot of Reno/Cloud NC-17. AND I LIKED IT.
1st-Dec-2005 07:11 am (UTC)
OMG THAT IDEA PWNS. I was thinking of doing something like that, but wasn't sure how the hell it would get past Reno...still...oh dear. After Reno confesses all his deep dark sex secrets, Rufus whips off the cloak, and...

...Guess we know who's sleeping on the couch tonight, eh? Hell, for the rest of the year. *snerk* Poor thing.

OMG LINK ME *dies* XD XD. Although I have a sudden lust for uke!Reno...dunno why...
1st-Dec-2005 06:18 pm (UTC) - Imissyoualready.
RUFUS WHIPS OFF THE CLOAK AND RENO JUST SMILES, Because RENO KNEW ALL ALONG IT WAS RUFUS. XD and SO was confessing because HE KNEW. XD

Aw! But you know, if he sleeps on the couch, it's gonna make for an awful lot of couch!sex. xD

I'm not sure the fic is what you would call "very well written" but here it is!

You know, writing Reno - as I see it - looks like writing Chas sometimes. Just as long as you throw enough f-words in... He will be at least vaguely in character. XD I am slightly evil. xD
1st-Dec-2005 07:21 pm (UTC) - Re: Imissyoualready.
;;; But then, Reno is deliberately jerking Rufus's chain? Awww ^_^ And he would end it by being all, but the best is always with you, boss *smirk* Then lean in to kiss him <3. Kyute~~

ROFL. And by extension, table!sex...chair!sex...window!sex...hell, is there anywhere they can't screw?

Awww that fic's written by a friend of mine ^_^. Yeah, but I see something of a division between AC Reno and FF7 Reno...the former is very much more boyish and uke, while the latter is harsher, more cynical, but still fun to play with. Hehe. I want to seme the second one - I like a challenge ^_~.
1st-Dec-2005 07:26 am (UTC)
"I love you, nii-san. More than Kaa-san!"


You're the best
I love you XD
1st-Dec-2005 06:19 pm (UTC)
I LOVE YOU TOO, JEN!

MORE THAN KAA-SAN!

1st-Dec-2005 06:57 pm (UTC)
HAHAHA
XD
*HUGGLE*
1st-Dec-2005 11:03 am (UTC)
Ok, desperate!Kadaj made me laugh so hard. :D :D :D

I just <3 the chocobo line. And this:

More than Vincent likes his dress! I mean, his cape!

If Vincent overheard that he'll probably be deadpan!Vincent and reply, "Dirge of Cereberus". :D :D :D

AND THANK YOU FOR THE HAGI/CLOUD LOVE. :D :D :D *hugs*
1st-Dec-2005 06:20 pm (UTC)
*HUGS YOU SO TIGHTLY* I am so glad you liked this? XDDDD *hugs you* I should write MORE CRACK! FIC. XD At least it will have FUNNY LINES. XD

Strangely enough desperate!Kadaj line was funnier than I thought it was. *DIES XD*

DIRGE OF CEREBERUS, TOO!!

HAGI/CLOUD? Did you just suggest a NEW PAIRING FOR ME? >D

I was trying to go to study Juris today and my mind was, "Don't you think I will always Love You is such a Sephiroth/Cloud song?"

xD
1st-Dec-2005 07:19 pm (UTC)
OMG. A Hagi/Cloud pairing would end up looking something like this.

(Cloud being emo and angsting about something)

(Hagi just staring in his usual deadpan way)

(Cloud gets more emo): "You don't care about me! I'll go look for Sephiroth!"

Heh. I will always love you... Hm. It's sufficiently gay for it to be a Sephiroth/Cloud song...

Although I personally prefer Every Breath You Take. :D Considering Sephiroth never seems to leave Cloud alone... And even his clones developed stalking tendencies.

YES! WRITE MORE CRACK FIC! :D :D :D

VINCENT COMMANDS YOU TO! OR HE'LL REPEAT DIRGE OF CEREBERUS OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

(until he has to go to knitting classes with Cloud - he obviously needs them - look at the state of his cape... Hm. Or maybe it's artistically torn and ragged...)
1st-Dec-2005 12:40 pm (UTC)
lol. gorgeous. <3

now post more. i know you. you probably have a gazillion ficlets all over the place, scribbled in between your law lecture notes or something. gimme! X3
1st-Dec-2005 06:21 pm (UTC) - hello MOM! XD *HUGS*
XD *HUGS YOU TIGHT* Inspired by your Cain and Abel fic! XDDDD *HUGS YOU*

I do actually have a gazillion ficlets lying around! And some of them even on LJ! XD

AND YES, THEY ARE SCRIBBLED ON LAW NOTES! HOW DID YOU KNOW! *HUGS* You know me so well. ♥
1st-Dec-2005 07:31 pm (UTC) - Re: hello MOM! XD *HUGS*
*cuddles*

me, ka and sena are all standing around the comp. WE ALL WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY~~~ <3
1st-Dec-2005 01:41 pm (UTC)
I needed that this morning.. Thank you, very much.

Rofl.

Meow.
~The Notorious Miss Amanda
1st-Dec-2005 06:22 pm (UTC)
HELLO THERE! *beams and hugs you!* You are posting art again! ♥ the prettiness! *beams*

*hugs!* I'm so glad it helped, and you liked! *grin* Thank you so much! *beams* Hope you had a good day! *hugs*
2nd-Dec-2005 05:15 am (UTC)
Muse has been kind to me. ;D As my sense of humor usually is.

<3 <3 <3

Meow.
~The Notorious Miss Amanda
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