But as much as I liked it, I staggered out of the theatre saying, "I NEED to watch something violent. I HAVE to get all that saccharine sweetness out of my system!"
My brother was watching all this with wry amusement, and he said, "You need to get back to reality?"
"YES!" I said. "I NEED TO DECOMPRESS!"
I know it sounds strange, but spectacularly emo songs actually make me VERY happy. Granted, birds taking sandbaths, babies, and Blades of Glory make me happy, and those are just the things that begin with B, but really. I really like Jimmy Eat World's 'Pain' - first heard it off the Closer soundtrack, and I adore it. And Simple Plan's untitled. SO EMO, the MTV's an anti-drunk driving advert. I know people who hate it because it's so over-the-top, but it's precisely why I love it!
The subject matter we're dealing with in school doesn't help much, either. It's been like this for the past three days: write representations for a defendant in a multiple-party rape case, lecture on wills, tutorial (which went on for two hours) on how to draft divorce proceedings. And on Thursday I'm scheduled for the Criminal Legal Aid Scheme session, which, from friends' accounts, I think the best you can hope for is that your defendants don't show up. Because these are people poor enough to need legal aid, and the best part is, we're there to recommend whether or not they can get it. And it's not just based on whether they can afford it: it depends on whether the legal aid is going to make a difference, because there aren't enough lawyers around to represent everyone.
Students have had to interview child victims of rape and eighteen-year-olds who are slated to do time.
You know there is this part in Ratatouille, nice trailer here, in fact, where the little chef says, "It's obvious I have to rethink my life." It's not as dramatic as all that, but when I was young and I wanted to study law it was so that I could learn enough to protect other people. And now that I'm older and I've learned what I've learned it seems that I've just learned new ways to be powerless, because now I know for sure that there are situations where you cannot help someone, and that is a limit to what the law can do and a limit to what can be enforced and a limit to which you can try to help someone, because sometimes even if you advise them to do something, people will still go on and do stupid, stupid things and get themselves hurt, and there is nothing you can do about it. I hate feeling powerless.
I suppose it's going back into the office today that does it, too: I really miss work, sometimes, because that's where you feel like you're really doing something, something to help, whoever it is you're working for, instead of an academic treadmill that sometimes makes you feel more depressed, because nothing you do is real and you're not changing anything standing where you are. I know objectively that you're there to learn more so you can help people better, but sometimes it just feels like nothing.
Don't mind me: it's just that three close friends of mine have all left the country last week, so that can't be helping, too. I usually don't miss people on the surface of my mind, and being busy helps, it's just that there are some times when nothing can make me happy for long, or I'm sad for no reason I can name, and I think it's work that's stressing me out until I finish all my work and realise that I still feel the same. I used to get this way when my brother left for boarding school, and I suppose it's no different now. Don't mind me.
I got to talk to kimivalkyrie today, and that was fun! Can't wait til you're here! ♥
Also stupid things amuse me, like when we were in drafting divorce proceedings today, and our assigned lawyer was telling us that we had to produce the original or the certified true copy of the marriage certificate, and I wrote, because she was talking fast:
And the Abyss fan inside of me did a happy backflip of joy.
Speaking of happy backflips of joy, this told me about the new JADE COVER Degenki Maou issue, which unfortunately seems unobtainable at bookshops here, but:
Also, much love for FF7:
hazelator's post here led me to this
I was about to say RRR. But it sure ain't Reuse, Reduce, and Recycle, it's Reno, Rude and Rufus:
Also, apparently what will be in Degenki Maou:
Also, manic_intent wrote this FABULOUS Star Wars/FF12 crossover - Tales From the Old Republic, which I absolutely loved. Balthier as Basch's padawan, and it is really perfect. I honestly do think that such is her gift with writing that she could make any idea sound glorious.