breaking all your laws, one at a time. (aefallen) wrote,
breaking all your laws, one at a time.
aefallen

For great JUSTICE.

Legal humour, because I really need it now.

See, this (link from warmperky, many thanks! Includes all the actual cases, too!) is why I don't need Phoenix Wright. Law in real life provides all the crack I'll ever need.

Lowering the Bar Presents: The Case Law Hall of Fame
Washington v. Alaimo (S.D. Ga. 1996).
Plaintiff ordered to show cause why he should not be sanctioned for "filing a motion for improper purposes." The allegedly "improper purposes" are hinted at by the title of the pleading, "Motion to Kiss My Ass." Sanctions imposed.
[The motion proper is full of hilarious profanity which I sadly cannot repeat here, but the text of the case is linked! Go see!]

Bradshaw v. Unity Marine Corp. (S.D. Tex. 2001)
"Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact--complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words--to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed."
[Oh God, I've seen pleadings like that]

[And my FAVOURITE ;D]
Fisher v. Lowe (Mich. Ct. App. 1983)

We thought that we would never see
A suit to compensate a tree.
A suit whose claim in tort is prest
Upon a mangled tree's behest;
A tree whose battered trunk was prest
Against a Chevy's crumpled crest;
A tree that faces each new day
With bark and limb in disarray;
A tree that may forever bear
A lasting need for tender care.
Flora lovers though we three,
We must uphold the court's decree.

[And, the Asch-vs-Luke or YGO case]
Lodi v. Lodi (Cal. Ct. App. 1985).
"This case started when plaintiff Oreste Lodi sued himself in the Shasta County Superior Court."

Noble v. Bradford Marine Inc. (S.D. Fla. 1992).
This case, decided not long after "Wayne's World" was released, was remanded after an extreme close-up review of very excellent authorities revealed that the removal was most bogus and way improvident. Defendants ordered to "party on in state court."


Moore v. Moore (Mo. Ct. App. 1960)
In which a man's right to fish without female interference is recognized, but minor infringements on it are declared not to be grounds for divorce. The term "hillbilly" is found not to be an insult, at least when used in Southern Missouri.

United States ex rel. Mayo v. Satan and His Staff (W.D. Pa. 1971).
Civil rights case against Satan (and his staff). Case dismissed for lack of jurisdiction, and because of doubts over whether it could properly be maintained as a class action.

And for good measure:

A Nebraska senator apparently also sued God. Here's the lawsuit. Wikinews article here.

Tags: law and fandom, tales of the abyss, ygo
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