breaking all your laws, one at a time. (aefallen) wrote,
breaking all your laws, one at a time.

man topped by legislation.

Full-day hearing tomorrow, so full-time stress-meter on today, much helped by meeting elvaron and M for lunch. ♥

Today is a special day, because it marks my time as a trainee lawyer finally and unbelievably coming to an end. Also noteworthy for the fact that Hibari's birthday fell at some point in the past few days when I was staring non-stop at injunction research. ONE DAY WHEN I GROW UP will I be able to bite people to death all by myself? ♥ One day, too, I will make a post about how my EPIC EMO at my occasionally not being able to do what the boss wants rivals Gokudera's in laughability, but then I tell myself to stop being internally hysterical and to stop kicking myself dammit and to take a deep breath, because I'm still learning and I will have to learn to forgive myself for making mistakes once in a while and not beat myself up viciously about it.

So anyway! All trainee lawyers have to complete this checklist of To-Do Things that are supposed to give us the right grounding and adequate experience in the profession (the checklist annoys me to no end because A LOT of what I do was never covered by the checklist. WHAT KIND OF CHECKLIST leaves out discovery and keeps due diligence in, for godssakes?! A CHECKLIST DRAFTED BY A CORPORATE LAWYER, OBVIOUSLY). So this checklist is supposed to remind you that you need to learn about court etiquette and how to dress and conduct yourself in court and I am: You know, I CAN THINK OF MORE FUN WAYS IN WHICH TO LEARN THAT. LIKE:

which of these people won't get kicked out of court?

Highlight for answers:

Yamamoto, Tsuna and Lambo get kicked out of court. Reborn and Colonello can stay if they take off their hats.

But of course, if they're not actually appearing in court they can wear whatever they want. ♥ THAT IS TO SAY IF THEY have only come along for the show, they're okay.

And ohgod today I laughed so hard at THIS, in America's Sweethearts:

Narrator: Justice never tasted so sweet... in The Bench.

Catherine Zeta Jones, as a wide-eyed defendant: I didn't do it. I'm innocent. Why won't anyone believe me?!

John Cusack (as her attorney): I object!

Judge: You're out of order!

John Cusack: No, you're out of order!
I object to the way my client has been treated.
I object that I've let my professional judgment...
...become clouded by my feelings for her.
I object to the way the room spins when she walks in.
I object, Your Honor, because I love this woman!

Aaaand then the attorney and the witness share a passionate kiss on the witness stand.


and because I HAD TO SAY it:

your fantasy, my reality: or, why you shouldn't try this in court

There was, in fact, a lawyer in my jurisdiction who developed a less-than-professional relationship with his client in exactly this manner, and it led to him being disbarred. Didn't help that this was a divorce case and her husband was attempting to reconcile with her. In other words, you can and do get kicked out of the profession for antics like these.

One of the nightmare cases I worked on recently resurrected in a most horrifying manner. When I picked up the printouts at the common printer my blood ran cold AND:



Also and when I came home and dazedly told my mom, "One of our cases resurrected." ... she thought I was talking about a patient.
Tags: law and fandom

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