breaking all your laws, one at a time. (aefallen) wrote,
breaking all your laws, one at a time.

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Fear My Cooking. No, really.

Sleepy once again. *laughter* Slept at 4am last night this morning, which may be part of the problem. Was up at 9am to give Dad his Father's Day presents. *smile* Then... trooped off to kitchen for first Horrific Food Experiment of Day. Made Fruit Batter Fritters. Note to self: Blueberries usually end up falling off. Also they end up very fried.

Off to more theory lessons after lunch. A long break really destroys your attention span. Mine's better than it used to be, but not by much. Attended 200 minutes of lessons, which means I was in the same classroom from 12.45pm to 4.20pm. With one wander out of class during the break. By 3.15pm my mind was having trouble staying where it was. *laughter* Spent my Mind is Not Here moments making several laughable attempts to create character names. Definitely not my forte. *makes face*

Came back home - with a detour. Went off to the supermarket to buy More Food. Had evil plan to cook steak and potato fritters with cheese. *beams* Could not have done it without bro and maid's help. ^_^ Am vaguely proud to say that I did the steak all by myself.

Marinade: Mustard, dark soya sauce, sugar, sesame oil, rosemary (the scent of rosemary reminds me of my aunt's garden), basil, dill (I adore dill), light soya sauce. ^_^

Made enough potato fritters to not need rice for dinner. *slightly alarmed* Three large potatoes make an unconscionably large number of fritters.

Watched Pitch Black after dinner. Bro, I and maid watched it several years back. At the time, was deeply into Magic: The Gathering - bro and I watched the movie primarily because the monsters in it looked a great deal like Slivers. The Mercadian Masques expansion. I loved those cards.

Taken from here.

"The Legions expansion also marks the long awaited return of Slivers. Originally introduced in the Tempest and Stronghold sets, Slivers can splice their ability onto all other creatures in play and, in some cases, even onto cards in your hand. Blade Sliver makes all Slivers bigger, while Shifting Sliver makes Slivers unblockable.

Players get several other new abilities with the Legions expansion set, including Provoke, which forces your opponent’s creature to block it instead of blocking other attacking creatures, and Amplify, which will give a boost to many of the tribal decks built with Onslaught cards."

And they're still using Slivers in 2003. *beams* I love unblockables.

Last Night (And Morning) Update

Went out for dinner last night, with the family. Restaurant had the best bread I'd ever tasted. Mom thought there were poppy seeds in it. (Which I thought was technically illegal, but which Mom says is fine as long as you get a permit to import it.) We had the most beautiful full moon last night. Utterly gorgeous.

(Which may explain why Faol was so extraordinarily frisky.)

The Professor sent me a lovely recording, last night - Rowan Atkinson's "A Warm Welcome". To Hell. Utterly hilarious.

The Devil: Hello, nice to see you all again.

Now, as the more perceptive of you have probably realised by now, this is Hell, and I am the Devil. Good evening. You can call me Toby, if you like - we try and keep things informal here, as well as infernal. That's just a little joke.

Now, you're all here for eternity, which I hardly need tell you is a sod of a long time, so you get to know everyone pretty well by the end, but for now I'm going to have to split you up into groups. Are there any questions? Yes?

Um, no, I'm afraid we don't have any toilets... if you'd read your Bible you would have seen that it was damnation without relief. So, if you didn't go before you came then I'm afraid you're not going to enjoy yourself very much... but then, I believe that's the idea.

Right, let's split you up then.

Can you all hear me still?

Can you hear me at the rack?

All right, off we go...

Murderers, over here. Looters and pillagers - over there please, thieves if you could join them, and bank managers...

Fornicators, if you could step forward - my God there are a lot of you. Could I split you up into adulterers and the rest? Adulterers if you could just form a line in front of that small guillotine there.


Americans, are you here? Look, I'm sorry about this, apparently God had some fracas with your founding fathers and damned the entire race into perpetuity. He sends particular condolences to the Mormons who He realises put in a lot of work. That's the way the wafer crumbles. The Iranians, I'm afraid, can't be with us - someone's been holding them in purgatory for about nine months.

Sodomites, over there against the wall.

Atheists! Atheists? Over here please. You must be feeling a right bunch of charlies.

Okay, and Christians! Christians? Ah yes, I'm sorry, I'm afraid the Jews were right.

Okay, Moonies, maniacs, marmite eaters, male models, masochists, mass murderers and masseurs, if you could take a pew at the back - with the Methodists that is.

Now, you're the lot who used to kill whales, is that right? Ah, yes, I must remember - I've got some strips to tear off you bastards later.

Everyone who saw Monty Python's "Life of Brian" - I'm afraid He can't take a joke after all.

Alright now, one final thing. We're trying to implement some kind of exchange scheme with the Lord God Almighty, or Cliff as we know him. Some of you will travel up and have a decade in heaven and we're having some angels down here. Now, I hardly need tell you that in heaven you will be expected to behave in an exemplary manner, so I hope you will do the exact opposite - tear off their wings, use their haloes for frisbee practice, that sort of thing.

Well, I have to go now, unfortunately, but Beelzebub here will show you the ropes ... and the chains, and electrodes.

I'd just like to leave you with a favorite joke of mine, if I may. Quite apt to the circumstances, I think. It goes something like this:

Knock, knock!

Who's there?


Death wh...!

Praise the Professor!

Ooh, Rowan Atkinson's middle name is Sebastian.

Also went to Borders, last night. Fantasy section is my personal... suffice to say that when I go there, I cannot keep my eyes off the books. As soon as I put one back, I spy another. And it goes on and on. ^_^

Saw Robin Leong there last night. Mom saw him first. As bro says - "Just an ordinary guy."

Also ran into Jonathan on the way to Borders. Rather, he saw me. When am thinking am extraordinarily unperceptive.

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