breaking all your laws, one at a time. (aefallen) wrote,
breaking all your laws, one at a time.

Because I Just Can't Help It

anyasy has written my new motto, and it's:

*fangirls anyasy*

Oh. And watch me contribute to the Bana, Bloom and Troy-invading flist phenomenon.

*apologises to kannazuki*

*conveniently forgets the cut-tags*

“Let’s try not mentioning Orlando Bloom for one minute,” said Merry today, while we were in J’s room, reading the papers.

*turns the page and sees a review for Troy*


Saw Eric Bana on Jonathan Ross tonight. [Wow. That sounds so wrong.] And I found out because a guy who once gave me a prank call told me. It's a

I was attempting to study one night (Right. I was online.) and this telephone call comes in. Australian accent, claiming to be from BMG, and attempting to sign Christina Aguilera for a new pop single. He was prank-calling me because dearest YK ( Yesssss, risax, the same YK that knows A.) had given him my name, saying that I’d be willing to listen when I knew I was being fooled. “I’m in Singapore,” he said. “I’m staying at the Marriott! I can see Sentosa from here...” [You can’t.]

“You’re Australian?” I asked. “Eric Bana’s Australian. . .”

He, YK and the rest of the 6th floor hall residents do this on a semi-regular basis, calling up people and doing what they did to me. He and YK were attempting to decide whether to pretend to be a music industry rep, or a convict calling for legal aid when pranking me. They went for the former. Am glad they made the more amusing choice. Other alternative identities the Sixth Floor Crew ( giaan’s name) has adopted are that of a scholarship official and a survey-taker. In the first instance it was Bloom (Yes, giaan, Bloom [so named for fandom inclinations]) calling an American on my floor and pretending to be a scholarship official. She subsequently hit on him, and when he said he had to leave, cried, “You’re leaving to see another girl! You’re cheating on me already! I’m canceling your scholarship! Goodbye!” and promptly slammed the phone down. In the next case, someone adopted a South-East Asian accent and called YK’s Malaysian friend, claiming to be taking opinion surveys on the Malaysian elections.

And so tonight he gave me a call, searching for a Love Actually DVD. (Am surprised that guys like the show. Call me sexist yes.) And he said, “Eric Bana’s on the Jonathan Ross show tonight.”

Me: “When?”

On Troy

Eric Bana: “The hurricance hit, and it was: Wall of Troy kaput, Eric and Brad, go home.”

His entire voice and demeanor changes when he imitates someone.

EB: “Orlando was - *wide-eyed* ‘I can’t believe I got this role!’ ”

Eric Bana: “So from Melbourne I flew to LA to take the plane to Mexico, and when I got there Brad was on crutches. And he was - *adopts a very slow, laconic, utterly *stoned* manner of speaking – think Finding Nemo’s Crush* ‘Hey. . . Dude. . . I’ve hurt my Achilles tendon. . .” And I’m, ‘No, you’re kidding, man.’ And he’s, ‘No, I’m not.’ I’m, ‘Thanks, man. You might have told me that before I got on the plane.’ I was looking around, expecting to see Ashton Kutcher saying I’d been punk’d.”

Jonathan Ross: “I’ve met Brad Pitt before, and he didn’t sound like that. Was he on pot?”

Jonathan Ross: “Hector. *repeats it in a peculiar accent*”

EB: *corrects him* “Hector.”

Jonathan Ross: “Hector. That’s a funny name. *pause* Not as funny as Orlando Bloom.”

Eric Bana: “Paris?”

Jonathan Ross: “Well, that too. . . I meant Orlando Bloom.”

Jonathan Ross: “And - *adopts exceedingly strange German accent* Wolfgang Petersen – ”

Eric Bana: *accusingly* “What’s with the accent?”

JR: “You understand German?”

EB: “I *speak* German. *I’m* half-German. My *mother’s* German. So you’ve met your match. Come on. *launches into German*”

JR: *long pause and sustained silence [Yes, it felt like that.]* “I think you’re being unfair to the audience, who don’t understand German.”

Audience: *howls of laughter*

EB: “*even more German*”

Audience: *hysterical laughter*

[J, who understands German, said that the last sentence he said was, “And our next guest is –” Much in the same way JR introduces his guests.]

And then

Jonathan Ross: [on Chopper] “He’s out of prison now. . .”
Eric Bana: “He’s out of prison, and he lives around the corner from me. I wish I was kidding, but I’m not.”

JR: “I understand he suggested you for the part. . .”
EB: “Yeah, they’d been casting for a year and hadn’t got anyone, and then he suggested me. ‘This Eric Bana, I think he’s crazy enough to play me.’ ”

JR: “You had to put on weight for the show?”
EB: “I play him in two parts, and there’s about 40 pounds difference.”
JR: “So you went on a diet?”
EB: “I sat very still. And ate a lot.”

All of this is written from memory – I didn’t have my paper and pen with me, and so is highly unlikely to be verbatim. But the facts are real.

Was watching with J, Merry and Sam. Now Merry can’t decide whether Bana or Bloom looks better, and Sam is certain it’s Bana. And neither of them has seen him in anything other than this interview.

Well, that was fast.

stewardess mentioned this article on this post of perseph2hades'. Heh. I read it like


  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded