breaking all your laws, one at a time. (aefallen) wrote,
breaking all your laws, one at a time.
aefallen

Things Brothers Are Good For



Things Brothers Are Good For

1. Nothing

2. Fighting with

3. Biting

4. Kicking

5. Scratching

6. Punching

7. Slapping (* Warning: Unlike in Spider-man 2, they slap back)

8. Sitting on

9. Pushing

10. Shoving

11. Trying new insults on

12. Watching stupefyingly bad Sam Raimi films with

13. Embarrassing you at the dinner table

14. Getting you into new fandoms, such as Witchblade and Robin Hobb

15. Gaming, so you can enjoy the graphics without having to do any of the work

16. Getting you out of tight spots in games you actually play

17. Insulting you while getting you out of tight spots in games you actually play

18. Waking you up via the time-honoured method of jumping on you while you’re asleep, then attempting to sit on you while hurling all your pillows and bolsters at you before pulling the comforter off the bed

19. Ignoring you

20. Wanting help with mathematics when you have infinitely better things to do

21. Beta-ing your fiction

22. Beta-ing your slash fiction

23. Amusement and sheer entertainment value when they realise it is slash fiction

24. Telling you Tobey Maguire is a wimp (* was too old for slapping by then)

25. Driving you up the wall

26. Suddenly developing good taste in music after liking Britney Spears for uncountable years

27. Being unexpectedly sweet when you’re feeling down

28. Making you feel better after being yelled at by your parents

29. Confiding in

30. Keeping secrets

31. Telling you you suck at writing/running/walking/studying/keeping regular hours/existing

32. Watching movies no one else/none of your friends will want to watch, such as Deathwatch

33. Making you watch movies you’d never thought you’d like, such as 28 Days Later

34. Obsessing/Talking about movies that you’re into that no one else other than the two/three of you like, such as Waterworld and Collateral

35. Taking cosplay photographs for you, even to the point of Hector Smash! frustration

36. Giving the baby/cousin to when you’re tired of holding her

37. Entertaining your cousins when you’d rather be asleep

38. Making you eat the results of his Home Economics practice ( * results can be personally injurious )

39. Stealing your mobile/handphone/cellphone and running off with it

40. Spilling water on your homework ( * may sometimes result in #2 )

41. Annoying you over the phone

42. Annoying you over the dinner table

43. Annoying you to the brink of insanity

44. Getting into the car and refusing to move over for you

45. Looking completely shocked when you dress up for dinner

46. Gloating over being taller than you, despite being younger than you

47. Gloating over being mistaken for being older than you, despite being younger than you

48. Saying unexpectedly sweet things to you before you’re due to leave the country and making you want to cry

49. Frustrating you by being accorded different treatment by your parents on the grounds that:

(a) you are different people ( * very frustrating when this is text/sms-messaging at the dinner table/going out/having long phone calls )
(b) your parents now realising that what you did at his age was normal ( * very frustrating when this is wearing black
(c) Because they are boys ( * utterly infuriating when this is cursing [although once we did a very interesting experiment in which my brother proved that he could recite what we would deem to be NC-17 first-person slash fiction at the dining table and our parents wouldn’t notice {They didn’t.} ])

50. Being themselves.

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